Live by the Sword, Die by the Sword...

holy crap... whered i go?

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 20:54:33 GMT

Well.. it seems its been about eight months since my last entry... and nothing has changed. my life is still a boring as ever but there is one good thing: IM GRADUATING SOON. That means college for me.

Okay... so i exageratted a LITTLE bit about my life not changing. Here's the low down:

Over the summer i started dealing with some uber-stressful family health issues (still going on and just as not fun as they were then).

My college search is over. Im going to Lynchburg College down in the southern part of Virginia. yay!!!

My art has become significantly better under the direction of Sham if even for only a few months so far.
If you want to check me out a little more: elessar135.deviatart.com

Ive had one relationship since then and it didnt last very long.

Overall? I'm still a single hermit who does ntohing but art stuff, video games (here and there anymore...), homework, and well... thats pretty much it. If i go out, its still once in a blue moon.

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 02:01:36 GMT

Bleeding Mascara

A wraith with an angel's body
A demon with a smile of gold
You soulsucker
I won't become like you
A killer with the perfect weapons, crystal eyes, and a heart of coal
You soulsucker
I won't lose myself in you

Look how pretty she is when she falls down
Now there is no beauty in bleeding mascara
Lip are quivering like a withering rose
She's back again

What the fuck do you think love means?
It's much more than words and feelings sucking me dry
Is my marrow that sweet?
Your dead lovers have left a trail of broken hearts and misspent hopes
Sucking them dry
Does their marrow taste of sweetness, sweetness?

I hope you choke
Dying In Your Arms

I'm wearing thin wearing out becoming weak
Holding hands with this rope she's my self-destructive
Bleeding disease the things that makes it hard to breathe
But if I shoved you far away
This addict just starved again asphyxiated

[Chorus]
And now I see it's you that's tearing me ensnaring me
This is my dying in your arms I cut you out now set me free

Lynched high above what used to be
In her gallows built for me
So I escaped cut this noose around my
Neck I break free to see the things you blinded me
And I shoved you far away
Now I live the life I dreamed of
You're dead to me

[Chorus x2]

You poisoned my life
So I take this knife
And I cut you out
Cut you out

So... ive just realized how much music is really apart of my life.... wow...

hmmm.. Damian gave me the idea

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 01:09:46 GMT

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Part Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

first try at photoshop

Tue, 17 May 2005 23:11:57 GMT

been gone for a while... now im back... maybe not

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 00:53:02 GMT

Well, I haven't updated for some time so, well, here I am! This damned snow has had me locked up in my house all day... very dull if you ask me. Though, being the art geek I am, I enjoy watching the snow blanketing the earth. The cool white glistening among the soft greens and browns, it makes everything seem so... together; peaceful... the snow hides the corruption and blackness of the truth of the world, if but for a time.

Jackie is turning fifteen today... happy birthday, girl! have a fun fifteeth!

Which makes me think... Im gonna be sixteen in a few months... whoa... I cant wait to drive, so many of my problems will be solved, but even then, I need to buy a car first, which means I'll have to have money, which also means I need a job... I hope to have one by the summer. People laugh at me because I want to work at the local Barnes & Noble, but I like the enviroment there, even if Id be nothing more than a stock boy. Ill push also for jobs at the Game Stop and EB Games at the mall, good way to go seeing as I want to go into the game industry as a career.

Video games were my first love. Ive grown up around them. I had an NES (the original for those who dont know) from when i was very little. Then for Christmas when I was seven, we bought an N64, I fell in love with that too. This led me to become a diehard Nintendo fan, evidenced by my decision to buy a GameCube over a PS2. Oh well. I am a gamer. I am an artist. I will be a game artist with a passion for what I do. w00t to planning (just hope and pray these intricate plans dont fall through...)

WHOA!!! I believe this is the first entry Ive made that doesnt state how bad I think my life is! Maybe this is a good sign? Hmm.... I hope so! Anyways, Ive updated for you peeps who have nothing better to do than read my crap.

A different kind of high school's homecoming!

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 01:13:26 GMT

If LJ Were a High School - Version 2.0 - Homecoming by Karen_Walker
Username
Your Date to the Dance	icyheartedangel
Homecoming Queen	leipensa
Homecoming King	rosefaery
Best Dressed at the Dance	__ambulance_x
Dressed the Same as You	defientlove
Best Dancer	twh2025
Spiked the Punch	sinful_lies
Threw up on their Date	lookingforme
Boycotted the Dance	tiltedwave
Your School's Mascot
Did Your Team Win the Game?

Quiz created with MemeGen!

hehe... a different kind of high school!

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 01:10:54 GMT

If LJ Were a High School by Karen_Walker
Username
Your Status
Lunch Lady	lookingforme
Head Cheerleader	icyheartedangel
Quarterback	defientlove
Prom Queen	leipensa
Gang Member	tiltedwave
Band Geek	twh2025
Theatre Geek	sinful_lies
Chess Club Captain	__ambulance_x
Loner Goth Kid	rosefaery
Class Clown	sinful_lies

Quiz created with MemeGen!

what a day....

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 22:32:17 GMT

Well, the La Salle invitational was yesterday and I took fourth in novice LD. I got to spend time with Jackie but I knew I was going to have to come back here, to my house, once again. My day today has really sucked. I got yet another opportunity to sit in my house and do absolutely nothing productive socially. I am beginning to get used to this unholy seclusion from society... no I'm not. I never will. My parents will eternally try to keep me away from Jackie in order to 'protect from greater pains down the road' but in their attempt to save me from pain, they have only hurt me worse. The pain I feel from seclusion is more than any I can imagine, maybe not physically, but emotioanlly. If anyone could truly understand how I feel about Jackie, they wouldn't really try to keep me from her.

I guess seeing as December is about halfway gone, I should try and come up with a New Year's resolution or two.

1. Try and come up with a way to tell Jackie how I truly feel for her.
2. Tell Jackie how I feel about her after I've fried my brain putting unspeakable emotions into words.

What? Another quiz-type-thing?

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 01:43:38 GMT

Live Journal Insane Asylum by bananamonkey007
username
have you ever been to an insane asylum?
The one who runs the joint.	tiltedwave
The evil doctor who gets to torture people!	lookingforme
Has an imaginary friend named Bob	rosefaery
Enjoys the shock treatments.	defientlove
Thinks they have x-ray vision and can see people!	twh2025
Has multiple personalities.	leipensa
Strokes random people .	sinful_lies
The normal one who was abducted	icyheartedangel
How many times you have tried to excape.	32

Quiz created with MemeGen!

yup, stilll a D&D geek :)

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 23:45:02 GMT

You're an Evoker! Evocation is the school of creating and
manipulating Energy. It is used to create Fire,
Lighting, or shapes of force. Evokers tend to
be forceful and headstrong. Problems are
usually resolved on the first try. You have
been guilty of excessive force more than once.
Evokers call forth the most devastating spells
of all. Powerful and determined you are a true
force of nature when unleashed.

What D&D School of magic are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yup, I'm a D&D freak...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 22:56:17 GMT

You are a Rebel, Chaotic Good.

Chaotic good characters works towards good in their
own ways, without regard for the expectations
of others or the rigid guidelines of society
(imposed by church or government). They are
particularly disturbed by those who try to push
people around and intimidate them. They are
less honor-bound than the other good
alignments, particularly in dealing with those
who are not good. They may on occasion lie,
threaten or kill for a good cause (with an evil
person, perhaps). As a general rule, chaotic
good characters do not attack unarmed
opponents, harm the innocent, refuse an honest
appeal for aid, take bribes or betray their
friends. They usually prefer to cut through
red tape. Robin Hood is an example of a
chaotic good character, particularly prior to
the return of King Richard.

What is your d&d alignment?
brought to you by Quizilla

I definately need to find something better to do with the time I really shouldn't have

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 22:35:22 GMT

What LJ Anime Adventure Would You Live? by _likeastar
Username
Gender
Favorite Color
Your enemy	lookingforme
Your lover	rosefaery
You're never seen without	a frying pan.
It takes place	in an alternate universe.
Your best friend	__ambulance_x
The plot	You get dragged into a chaotic war.
Your dream	To become a hit singer.
You live in	Your best friend's house.
You will	get lost in a dream.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

D&D TIME!!!

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 22:32:21 GMT

(1) D&D sayings to live by by crazy_canadian
Ehh... it doesn
Human saying:	There are good silences and bad silences. This is not a good silence
Dwarf saying:	I only forgive at funerals
Elf saying:	We must wait, as do the spirits of the eternal wind
Gnome saying:	Stand back, savage beasts, and be soothed
Half-Elf saying:	I would be receptive to a slightly less stupid idea
Half-Orc saying	How heinously shall I rend you?
Halfling saying	Do not be distracted by my dazzling charm

Quiz created with MemeGen!

quiz time yet again!

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 22:25:03 GMT

Your Live Journal Movie! by orin_lockheart
Username
Age
Movie Title	Friday Night Sore Throut
Your Costar	twh2025
The Director	leipensa
You did a graphic sex scene with	defientlove
The Villan	sinful_lies
Your love intrest in the movie	lookingforme
Movie type	Horror
How many weeks at #1	16
How much will it gross?	86,146,598
Award you will win	Adult Film Industry's Best Picture

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I'm pretty sure I must have something better to do...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 00:35:34 GMT

I wish I was with Jackie right now. Before we all left Truman from debate practice, Jackie called her aunt to come and pick her up and got some bad news and was not feeling good about it and it is still bothering me. Seeing her like that hurt me so much because I was unable to help her deal with the issue. All I wished it took was for me to embrace her and let her problem thoughts melt away... and then a reality check gave me a few paper cuts... I just wish my parents could lighten up a little bit and actually let me out of the house every once and a while, especially tomorrow for Allie's party, but I know that realistically that will never happen.

I'm sorry for those of you who actually read these rantings of mine. I guess my life sounds like one huge, bad sob story. I apologize. Just ignore me if you really want to.

I'm getting quiz happy today...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 00:26:42 GMT

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	Rediculously long, always flowing.
Clothes:	Simple, comfortable, everyday clothes.
Powers:	Elemental control
Special Features:	Wings
Sidekick:	Your best friend.
Attitude:	Upbeat and cheerful.
Weapon:	Wrist blades

Quiz created with MemeGen!

...okay...

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 00:23:16 GMT

Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn

Your name:

Weapon of Choice:

Chicken McNuggets

Your Favorite Target:

Zealots

Your Kill Count:

1,580,007,597

Your Battle Cry:

"Touch me, I'm happy!"

Years You Spend in Jail:

How Much Money In Damages You Cause:

$212,147,895,963,901

Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 11%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

a quiz!!!

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 21:51:53 GMT

What's your name? :: Andrew Jay Baldwin

Birthplace :: a hospital (Levittown)

Age :: 15

Age you act :: 26 or 15 depending on my mood

Current location :: my house (in front of my computer, duh)

Eye color :: hazel

Hair color :: brown

Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :: righty (somewhat ambidextrous)

Zodiac sign? :: taurus (though i don't believe in horoscopes)

Height? :: 6'0"
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]

Your heritage/nationality :: Irish, English, and Native American (maybe a little German)

Your hair :: brown

Your fears :: betrayal and rejection

Your perfect room :: big with medieval weapons ling the walls

What you practically do in a day ::
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]

Words you overuse :: uber

Phrases you overuse :: can't think of any right now

Your first thought when you wake up :: ugh... I have to get up? Nope... not yet

Your greatest accomplishment :: dont know

Something you want to do :: L.A.R.P. (Live-Action-Role-Playing, I'm a loser)
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]

Pepsi or Coke :: Pepsi foo! (they have Mountain Dew)

McDonald's or Burger Kings :: either

Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :: neither they're both sluts

Chocolate or vanilla :: either

Adidas or Nike :: none (DC or Circa)

Black or white :: people? white in general and some blacks but color? black

Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :: bills (but I think we should go back to a coin system)

Burgers or hot dogs :: both (look at me! im fat what did you think I would've said!)

Egypt or France :: Egypt has a much more interesting mythology

Rock or rap :: ROCK!!!!
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]

Smoke :: why waste the money?

Cuss :: sometimes (i tend to bleep myself)

Sing well :: nope never will

Sing in the shower :: no

Talk to yourself --a lot-- :: of course (im a bit crazy)

Believe in yourself :: sometimes but mostly in God

Like taking these longass surveys? :: sometimes

Play an instrument :: i did play alto sax

Want to go to college? :: yup

Want to get married? :: more than likely

Want to have children? :: maybe

Think you're a health freak? :: nope ( im fat c'mon!)

Get along with your parents :: yes

Get along with your siblings? :: of course! (i don't have any)

Think you're popular :: i know i'm not
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]

Gone out of state :: nope

Drank alchohal :: nope

Smoke :: nope never will

Get high :: see above^

Done any drugs :: again, see above^

Eaten an entire box of oreos :: nope

Been on stage :: nope

Gone skinny dipping :: nope

Been dumped :: not really... im in a relationship now

Dyed your hair :: nope

Stolen anything :: no
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]

Craziest :: Scott

Loudest :: Scott

Most shy :: Don't know

Blondest :: Skylar

Smartest :: DJ

Kindest :: Jackie

Best personality :: Jackie (can't help these answers)

Most talented :: not sure

Best singer :: uh... Scott?

Most ghetto :: Ricky (he's the 'blackest' friend i have)

Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :: not sure

Pain in the ass :: George (when he's being an #$%)

The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):: not sure

Funniest :: Tope

Best person for advice :: not sure

Dependable :: Brandi and Jackie

Trustworthy :: see above^

Druggie :: none

Most likely to end up in jail :: uh......

Person you've known the longest :: Chris G.
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]

Last dream :: don't recall

Last nightmare :: same as above

Car ride :: to my home

Last time you cried :: cant remember

Last movie seen :: Shrek (im German class)

Last movie rented :: Minority Report

Last book read :: The Legacy of the Drow

Last word said :: okay?

Last curse word said :: dont remember

Last time you laugh :: not to long ago

Last phone call :: uh... my dad

Last CD played :: Fireproof - Pillar

Last song you listened to :: Hindsight - Pillar

Last annoyance :: dont know

Last IM :: george (currently)

Last weird encounter :: dont know maybe when to weird people told me lay down on that bed thing last night...

Last person you hugged :: Jackie

Last person you yelled at :: uh....

Last time you wore a skirt :: ...never...

Last time you've been evil :: don't recall

Sarcastic? :: always

Last time you fought with your parents :: not to long ago

Last time you wished upon a star :: never

Played Truth or Dare :: never

Spent quality time alone :: a while ago
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]

Are you talking to someone on AIM :: yup

Do you feel lonely :: of course, Jackie is not beside me

Ever TP'd someone's house :: no

How about egging someone's house :: no

Do you not like dislike not like me? :: uh... yeah sure, whatever...

Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :: NO!!!!!!!

Yo Momma :: is my Momma!

Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :: not really... I'm not a cannibal

What do you think of George Bush? :: i like him but not everything he does

Any secret fetishes? :: those should be secrets...

Do you like to wear chains? O_o :: no

How many languages do you speak? :: one and a little of a second (German Whoooo!!!)

Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :: not really

Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) :: uh... if your a guy i'll kill you, a girl, i'm taken

::sigh:: It's a Wonderful Life...

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 20:22:05 GMT

My life at the moment is just peachy... ok that was really stupid on my part, but still, my life is going great. To an extent. I finally have found someone i can love and the loneliness I've felt for so long melted away. Jackie is a wonderful person. She's kind and affectionate... but the downside to this whole thing is the mocking... I'm being jeered at every time I touch her! OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT! ANDREW JUST TOUCHED JACKIE! (when are you going to 'have some fun', eh?) That's mearly a sample of the torture im feeling... My parents are really starting to piss me off because they are entirely against my dating Jackie, but they dont understand what i feel when I'm around her. I feel complete when I'm holing her in my arms and when we're apart, I feel like a zombie. Mearly walking through the day performing mindless activities until the light of my life shines upon my face. I only feel truly alive when we're together. When I hold her in my arms and her head is resting on my chest, she feels like a little girl who's lost in a big, big world but she has come to her safe haven. She's come to her sancuarary. Life is very good...